February 2009
6 posts
o v e r
you think you know the system. you figure you got it all worked out till it works you. works you so good. you see all the angles. none of the angles. fool. you let your fat head lead you and even when you should pull back you push forward. even when it’s obviously like lies to children you skip and jump and twist things to make it work when you already know you’re beat. you already...
just. hold. on. wait. no. let. go. fuck. which. is. it.
a d a p t a t i o n
you’ll look around you at everything your told is not you and find quietly, with a kind of certainty that nature knows no foresight. it does not make plans. it does not hedge its bets or lay it up. but you also find it has no conception of failure, or loss either. nature mourns no loss. life thrives and dies and what does not thrive is beat out for that which does. there is no protection in...
b r e a k e r - 1 - 9
you hope for a break. maybe the one time things will just fall together for you and save you weeks of headaches and worry, and stress and isolation. what person wouldn’t hope for that over what becomes more iron-clad every year—that things will always be the hardest way they can. the romans said nec spe, nec metu. no hope, no fear. you try for that while you get taken apart one small...
l o s e ( r )
sometimes you feel like nothing you ever do will help. it’s not self pity you feel. it’s reality. it takes real strength to handle the bad that invariably follows the good. It’s hard to accept life and not take the impersonal personally.
with love, my brother
awash in sticky fears and festering need i come home to you, my brother. long ago, now, we watched the soul die in our heads and hearts. faith went quiet as a run of shadow tracing calmless hands. hope came and went like discordant waves of disease with complicated cause, cureless. the things we knew like our own blood fell too. they fell so easily. then, the impossibility of life lived rose...