October 2008
17 posts
& if there’s a love in me, don’t let it show.
—
shape of my heart noah and the whale.
p o l i t i c o
my love of presidential election years knows no limits. its the only soap opera i can stand to watch day in and day out. its not my leader they are electing. i have no leader. America you’re ridiculous. is the worst thing you can think to call someone is a marxist? what would happen if you ever came across real leftists?
“and storms in rivalry are raging, from sea to land, from land to sea, in frenzy...”
– goethe - faust (part 1)
s e a r
days on end of pain. sharp & solid muscle pulling pulling. sleepin too late. bed too late. quiet calm of giving in. quiet calm of defeat. you just keep your head down & move. you raise your eyes & you’re ought to face what you see. tomorrow, always tomorrow.
ode
when your lies turn promise is when the vein really opens. when i forget you eat love & sound & hope is when the ground gets moving mornful fast. when i believe in anything other than the violence is when you can hear the knives sharpening. when i still can pull myself to a knee is when you hear the call for more blood. when heat gives way to need is when it is silent as the dead. is when...
w a l k t h e l i n e
i want to walk my feet off. clean off to bloody stumps and aching hips. i am out pushing through the afterbirth of fall. leaves and dying plants and cold north winds. it’s nearly sunset the light is sharp and hard, following me. i feel life rush in and then out of my lungs. full. cold. burning lungs. i’m alone with my music and the steady rhythm of feet on the ground and i want to...
you can’t be so desperate for love that you destory yourself on the whim of a broken heart, or perfect hip. roll out and under and leave the ones who miss it missing it.
r a v a g e
your better most times to hold yourself to yourself and keep a long hard arm between you and them. not because they will hurt you when they are close. thats foolish. more because they will ravage you when they are gone. epic worlds separate themselves and leave a heaving chasm of emptiness listless behind them. plates crash and tear and mountains rise up. plates tear away and leave fine scars on...
m e a t d r a w
post apocolyptic alt country throwing itself off the ceilings of a nearly empty bar. coming for you in four part harmony with chord progressions & lyrics to make you weep. beautiful full-lipped & curly-sue-haired girl violates the ukulele & makes sure i never need to look uncomfortable again. she’s using it all up. the whole western hemisphere with every sidelong glance. the...
z u g z w a n g
i’m going to vote today not because i care, or because anyone represents my choice, but simply to cancel out someone. this is democracy at work.
quiet so loud.
l o n g i n g
you cant ever have that back. it’s full stop gone. washed away in a torrential storm of minutes and weeks. its strange what things you want back after they die. maybe almost never what you think you’ll miss is what you’ll miss. and you can’t have it back, and you can’t even acknowledge you had it. you can’t even stand there and say you did. all the memories are...
l u c k
i think a head full of thought on luck. on my luck. on how spoiled i’ve been and how i think i’ve been given a pretty good life. i’ve been spoiled and given so many advantages and if you can still be blessed in a godless world then i have been. knowing this doesn’t make me less sad, or less angry, or less frustrated. it just makes me also grateful, and thankful, and happy. theres room in this head...
s t o l e n
you wake up the victim of a hijacking. your day is lifted by words and maybe how the light is hitting that falling mountain ash. your day is lifted and gone. now, little fool, you gotta take your own mediciine. dig down and choose. dig down and break the pull of a million beating hearts and thier need, unquenchable. stay another second and you’ll never get out.
“nice! i will take pride in nutting him… i shall see what evidence i can...”
– Mob Hit’s Alie Lewis on my request for her to nut clan leader Lawrence Leong.
“i forgot what this here thing was for.”
– ruzz on the seconds blog, rediscovered.
u n r e d e e m . m e
waiting in baking sun too bright to look around or even understand things. entire empires of dust burst into golden life. i can’t wait for this to release any more. i know so little. i know enough to know. my finger never finds its way to pointing. my arm remains undecided. i wait and giant machines shake the earth. i wait and everything around me grows old and tired and gives way to...