seconds, this blog, has run it’s course. I started it the day i moved in this shithole, and it’s followed an important part of my life, but a part that feels securely behind me. I won’t delete it but I won’t update it any further either.
it’s only right to begin anew and close this little time capsule. the new is coming as soon as I can get it up. sit tight.
you fill your fat belly with intricate beauties. you swallow the organized chaos of light, color, shadow. eating it down & down & down till organs threaten with rupture. then you try to nibble at cold reality, at fiscal propriety, at getting on in the adult world, and you wretch. and you wretch. and you wretch. till you choke on lung and throat and half-digested strings of light. till your face contorts and your eye-whites bleed, and you’re heart, your screaming-open-heart, threatens with rupture.
the world looks on disinterested at this pointless flailing.
your eyes pin me to the seafloor of love. the ocean’s bed breaks-free anything hard or not giving. a quiet tidal pull rubs soft the jagged edges and whatever in me can’t find motion comes free-floating to the surface for ships passing to pick from and wonder after.
sometimes you forget being right doesn’t matter. being logical doesn’t matter. you forget life is alive and plays in real time with a scope so large there is no right. you forget everything in measures. the sweet and the sour. being right and wrong. logic and whimsy. rigidity and flow. sometimes you forget knowing isn’t doing and thinking isn’t living. you forget you can be right in a wrong situation and get quickly negated by reality. you forget right is actually whatever keeps you fluid, keeps you moving, keeps you coupled to the motions of life; even when it’s wrong.
